Another New York Afternoon
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Aviva's LiveJournal:
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| Monday, June 22nd, 2009 | | 6:56 pm |
| | Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 | | 1:08 pm |
Check out this cazy foot fetishy ad I saw.
I keep walking by this ad on the way to work, and I finally had to take a picture and share it. I'm not sure what this has to do with sunglasses, but whoa. (Sorry for the reflections, I had to take the picture through the window.)  | | 9:08 am |
Submit's getting rid of a GYN table. Do I know anyone who would want such a thing? (And could pick it up in Brooklyn before next weekend?) | | Sunday, June 14th, 2009 | | 11:54 pm |
In which I use lots of LJ names
It was an absolutely amazing weekend at the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference. Thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tgstonebutch for talking me into going. Thanks also to rachellll, for the lovely visit and for hosting me, Girlfriend, Esq. and minameow (whom she never even met!) Some of the programming was really fantastic; I particularly enjoyed finally seeing Raven Kaldera present, the discussion of femme identity, and seeing Julia Serano speak and getting to introduce myself to her after we corresponded a couple of years ago. It's delightful to have so many awesome friends, and I'm tickled pink about the ever-increasing number of people I greet with kisses. Despite being worn out from her first few days at the new job (yay!!!!), Girlfriend, Esq. was able to make it after all. That was as delightful as it always is, and will tide me over until our anniversary (!!!). I do love her, so much. Friends threw one of the best parties I've been to in recent memory. I still love Burmese food. I met LJ friends in person -- I wish I'd had more time to talk to pearlsandblood and splinterjete (in her case, I wish I'd recognized her before the last hour of the conference!), and I'm intensely glad for the time I got with hazelsteapot. I got chocolate milkshake ingredients on my way home...I try to spoil myself extra after intense play and the constant difficulty of parting with Girlfriend, Esq, and this time I also had to say goodbye to a new crush. Mmm, conferences. And now I'm going to sleep. Oh, sleep, how I've been forsaking you. I'll make it up to you, sleep, I promise. Starting right now. I hope you're ready for me. | | Wednesday, June 10th, 2009 | | 10:02 pm |
Street harassment FTW
I meant to post about it on Sunday and forgot, but the group of young men (give or take a dozen) who hang out at the entrance to my courtyard evenings and weekends often make me nervous. As all groups of young men do, particularly when I'm alone and have to walk right through them to get where I'm going. And even more particularly when I have to do this several times in quick succession. At this point I've decided to avoid doing laundry on Sunday whenever possible, since they go quickly from friendly hellos and smiles the first time I walk past to "Can I get with you can I get with you can I get with you?" by the third or fourth time. With an amusingly persistent offer to help me carry my laundry home, in between..."Do you need help with that?" No, I've got it, thanks. Someone else: "Can I get that for you?" No, I appreciate you asking, but I've got it under control, I promise. And then, called after me as I'm walking away, "I'll carry it right up to your door! All my special service for you!" Right, which is what I was trying to avoid to begin with. Sunday what got to me was that the exchange of hellos was followed by someone calling after me, "You know what I like about you? You're always on the go, doing your laundry or something." Mmm, appealing. I'm so turned on by a guy who likes me for the fact that I do chores. Maybe if I'm very very good, he'll let me do his laundry, too! After that I walked through silently and avoided eye contact, even though doing that always makes me feel terribly rude and conspicuous. I considered going around the long way so I wouldn't have to walk through them, but a) laundry is heavy, dude, and b) I knew they would see me and it would only cause more trouble the next time, when they could say "Why did you walk all the way around to avoid us?" But situations like that really unnerve me, and then I don't know how to act or handle them, and it seems better to just avoid them altogether. By, say, doing laundry on a weekday, and minimizing the number of days that I walk past six or seven times in the course of a few hours. All of that is basically what I intended to post on Sunday. Tonight, I was walking past a guy alone (he was walking, just slower than me) and he said hello. I nodded, and of course he sped up to keep pace with me. "Hello." "Hi." "What's your name?" he asked me. I pretended not to hear, but was kinda stuck when he repeated it. "What," I said jokingly, frustrated with myself even as I gave in to my constant urge to go along and be friendly and not make trouble, "You're going to ask me my name without even telling me yours first?" And then, of course, the exchange of names, and the inevitable "Are you single?" I said no, after that tell-tale split-second pause I can't seem to help as I consider that I'm not single but I am extremely available, but I don't want the person talking to me to know that -- the true answer seems both dishonest and necessary. Then the curveball -- "Well, I'm not single, either. But I'm interested." This is where being poly makes life confusing -- because of my contexts I'm inclined to read this as him being in an open relationship, but I know that given the larger contexts he's more likely to be signaling that he's open to cheating. Either way, "Thank you, but no." "Oh, I knew you were going to say that. You walk by me every day and say hello, but..." "Well, you know, there's a big difference between being friendly and saying hello and being available." Why am I treating this like a real conversation instead of a situation I'd like to be out of rightnowplz? "Well, that's all right, we can be friends. You don't have to walk past and pretend like you don't see me like you do." "it's just that there are so many of you," I answer, surprising myself by being this honest. "It makes me nervous." "Aw, we don't mean any harm. It's more like we're protecting you, being out there in the courtyard keeping anyone from trying anything." "Uh huh," I say, trying to keep the skepticism out of my voice. "But I'll tell the others to be cool, that you're not available" [or something to that effect.] "Thanks, I appreciate that." "Goodnight, now. Hey, you remember my name?" I repeat it, and he says "You know what your name is?" but I mishear it as asking my name again and repeat it. "No," he says, "Your name is sexy." Way to objectify, dude, And now we're right back where we started. I have enough privilege of my own to know that it's much harder to see when you're not the one hurt by it. Still, I can't get over this intertwining of protectiveness and harrassment, this total failure to recognize that the person offering to look out for me is the same one making me feel unsafe, the complete ignorance of the ways certain behaviors make women feel threatened. It seems so clear to me, I'm flummoxed every time. And it leads to such an odd mix of real conversation and inappropriate comments when the person making said comments just has no idea how inappropriate they're being (and, of course, when the person those comments are being made to is unwilling to point it out.) | | Tuesday, June 9th, 2009 | | 11:05 pm |
Occasionally, I remember how unusual my life is.
Last night I dropped by one of New York's better sex toy shops and ran into a friendly acquaintance. I hadn't known they worked there, but was psyched to not only get a hug but also be able to ask someone whose opinion I trust a couple of sex-toy-related questions I'd been mulling over. All in all it was delightful. It was only after I left that I realized most people's reaction would probably have been much less delighted and much more "Aaaaack I can't buy sex-related things in front of someone I know!!!!! I must pretend I was only curious, and come back later for what I need!" | | 11:02 pm |
| | Thursday, June 4th, 2009 | | 1:27 am |
Do I know anyone besides rachellll in Philly? It's late, and facts are falling out of my brain. I'm thinking of staying three nights for the Philly Trans Health Conference, and might like to spread the imposing around a bit. ( liegt_am_meer, you don't count. You'll be in Seattle, and it's sorry I'll be to miss you.) Also, who's going to PTHC? I want to know who to look for, and get to finally meet some of you lovely folks in person. | | Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 | | 12:51 am |
As always, it was a wonderful weekend in DC. As always, I can't believe it's over already.No matter how long we have, it's never enough, I find myself sitting on the bus startled that it all slipped away from me again, that I have to go home. It was good, though. There was a picnic with a bunch of their friends and a truly absurd number of delicious home-baked goods, a brief appearance made at a birthday party, two different naps, some storytime, the Wolverine movie, a party we'd probably have been better off not going to but managed to have some real fun at, and lots of time to snuggle and hang out with Lee and hang out just the two of us. Sitting on the bus talking to HJ while watching her through the glass, wishing the movie hadn't run so late and we'd had more time to kiss and realize our visit was over before I had to go, I also wished I could get right back off the bus and do it all over again. Or at least spend the night and go home in the morning. But there will be a next time. And it won't even be too long from now. | | Thursday, May 21st, 2009 | | 2:36 am |
I just love getting home at 2am and still having a to-do list... But the evening was delightful in half a dozen ways, and totally worth it. It's so awesome to walk into a room and want to run over and hug half the people there; and then have all o those awesome people have a fascinating conversation. And, um, I like kissing. And having new people to kiss. I may be exhausted more of the time than is really a good thing, but...I like my life. | | Tuesday, May 19th, 2009 | | 12:36 am |
| | Saturday, May 16th, 2009 | | 6:58 pm |
Um, oops.
I was saying that I haven't been as surrounded by men as my sister is at college since I was in middle school. "Well, cisgender men, anyway," she said, which made me all happy. (I actually meant what I said...I haven't been around that many men -- well, they were boys then -- that regularly since middle school...but still, good on her.) Then she was telling me that she used the word with and taught it to her new person with whom it is complicated. And I, of course, was delighted. It's great when people are that precise with language and are conscious not to other trans people by only using such adjectives when the person they're talking about is trans, and it's awesome that folks are using and learning and spreading the word so people will have a way to say it other than "non-trans," or, god forbid, "real" or "biological" or "genetic." "Yay," I said. "Yay!". Then I said, "Yay! Spread the cisgender gospel!" Um. Wait. Um. Oops. That's not what I meant. I swear, it's not what it sounds like. Really! | | Monday, May 11th, 2009 | | 10:50 pm |
Um. There's something wrong here. Two things, really.
Edit: Sorry, these things always have links to the quiz. Quiz is here.
 | | |
| You Scored as Lord Havelock Vetinari You are Lord Vetinari! Supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork! Cool, calculated, and always in control. You graduated from the assassins guild, but failed a course on stealth and camouflage, because the professor never saw you there (even though you attended every class). You always seem to know what everyone is thinking, and after a conversation with you, people feel that they have just escaped certain death.
Carrot Ironfounderson |
| 56% |
Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax |
| 56% |
Lord Havelock Vetinari |
| 38% |
Commander Samuel Vimes |
| 31% |
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| | 12:36 am |
I hate being sick at work. But mmm, NyQuil.
Gave five hours of massage today while coming down with something. Ick. I always feel worst at work, too, between leaning over in that way that so encourages nasal congestion, and trying not to cough or sneeze or sniffle 'cause it would worry my clients. I hope I didn't get anyone sick...I'd have called out if I'd felt worse this morning than "Hm, I wonder if I'm coming down with something." I definitely was, because now I definitely have it. At least I don't have work tomorrow, so I can stay in and rest, maybe convince it to burn through my system fast and be gone... I hope I'm well (or weller, at least) in time for my date Tuesday night. First date was so nice, as were the kisses at the end, and I'd hate to cancel. But I think at this point i'd settle for being up to driving to Wisconsin on Thursday, since I'm going to do it anyway -- my sister doesn't graduate from college every day. Wish me luck... Oh, it is so time for bed. This message was brought to you by the letters big N, little y, big fucking Q... | | Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 | | 2:17 am |
I felt so hot tonight in all of my fucking fierce new accessories. It was so lovely to spend an entire day feeling so attractive, and grinning every time I caught sight of a mirror. Yay. I'm so glad I spent Saturday buying myself presents. Also, Kate Bornstein flirted with me during her talk. That made me feel fucking badass, too. She's so awesome and swoonable. | | Sunday, May 3rd, 2009 | | 12:25 am |
The All Night Corner was closed as I walked home at 3:30 last night. Similarly the 24 Hour Deli. Maybe we're working from slightly different meanings of those phrases? I was kinda going for the meaning where I could buy toilet paper. I've spent the past three hours sitting at the computer, completely failing to eat dinner (unless dried apricots and Sunchips count as dinner) or do any cleaning. I think I'll go to bed and try again tomorrow. | | Thursday, April 30th, 2009 | | 11:48 pm |
Of all the people to cheer me up today...
The check-out girl at Target was shockingly cheerful and fun to chat with. It was kinda hard to keep moping once I returned her exuberant greeting. Buying cheap underoos is also always cheering, especially as I so don't need them. | | Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 | | 11:11 pm |
| | Monday, April 27th, 2009 | | 4:47 pm |
it was another lovely weekend in DC. I got in earlier than usual on Friday, and Girlfriend, Esq. and I took advantage of it to have a quick dinner and catch one of my favorite burlesque troupes. I'll have to take her again sometime, since this was possibly the least good show I've seen by them, but there were pretty naked ladies and we had a pretty good time. Saturday was a highlight, with a day spent in lingering over breakfast and lazing around and trading massages. It was so lovely to get a massage, and HJ is a quick study -- I taught her the things I need most just by doing them on her and then talking her through them on me, and with lilyofthewest as our self-sacrificing demo bottom I'm sure I can teach her much more. Yay. Then a friend joined us for dinner and we headed out to a party, where we caught up with lots of the folks I like in this part of the country. Yesterday we hit the farmer's market with Lee as usual, I got a free chair massage at the co-op (so spoiled this weekend!), and after wiling away the hottest hours of the day chilling the three of us and reading to each other HJ and I headed back out to check out a new chocolate shop --- yum! And way fun! Though I look forward to trying the ginger and wasabi creation we had as a milkshake as hot chocolate instead. I think it would be much tastier that way, but it was just too hot yesterday. We also went to Lambda rising, where I'd never been, and chilled with a friend who works there. I tried on glittery purple sunglasses that I think might be a necessary fashion accessory for a bisexual superhero -- they'd go so well with the silver cape I have my eye on at the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company. I really should have taken a picture, but maybe I'll just send HJ back to get them for me. Then home for dinner and a divine night in. I give the best presents, if I do say so myself...I hope HJ doesn't mind that I always end up enjoying them as much as she does. Today I took most of the day off work and she went in a bit late so that we could sleep in and have breakfast together before I caught a bus. The whole weekend was terribly relaxing, and life seems a lot more manageable now. The time with Lee was also lovely; we don't spend nearly as much time together as I'd like to or a the roles in each other's lives would perhaps lead you to expect -- another disadvantage of long distance. And, as a bonus, both she and Girlfriend, Esq. are convinced the things on my legs I've been considering bug bites are actually ingrown hairs/skin irritation from shaving. It does seem to happen a day or two after I've shaved, so I think I'll stop for a while, and be more attentive with the exfoliating and the witch hazel when I decide to risk it again. My skin doesn't usually react that way, but I've been really stressed lately -- not least, of course, because I'm afraid of what all of the bug bites could mean. So I still need a plastic bag for my bed (must pick one up tomorrow) and to check in with building management about how things are progressing in the affected units, but I think I'll try to be less convinced the world is ending, take a break from shaving (just in time for summer!) and see how my skin reacts. Cross your fingers for me. | | Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 | | 12:29 pm |
Every time I think I know New York, the MTA totally schools me. |
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